I Left My Heart Blood in San Francisco

I was born in Houston Texas, where I served a brief stint among the ponderosa pine forests, red ants and oppressive humidity (sorry Texans, it wasn’t my favorite place to live). I moved from there in sixth grade to the East Bay area of San Francisco, this area was always what I considered to be home. After graduating from high school I moved north to study studio art at Humboldt State University amidst the giant redwoods and the beautiful gray skies of the Northern California coastline. Upon graduation I moved east, to my now home in sunny Denver, Colorado. The further away I got on the linear timeline from my life in California the less I held memory of this time. In the last two years I have traveled back to San Francisco, once with my husband and once with both sons individually. 

In Chinese Medicine it is said that memory is held in the Blood. I’ve always understood this to mean that when we are having a hard time remembering our daily tasks, ie, walking into a room only to forget what we went in for, missing appointments or deadlines, etc. we can replenish blood by eating and digesting well, resting and sleeping more deeply and in doing so help the Shen (Heart Mind) anchor back into the blood to access memory. 

What I have learned in my recent explorations of San Francisco is that it also works the other way around. As I have gone back to places that I knew as a child, I have found it very settling for my body. Allowing myself to tap into the infinite aspects of time, the kind that you can conjure up and relive at any moment. I have collected missing pieces of myself in the rhythm of this city, creating more nutrient-rich blood. There are more aspects to our blood than numbers on a chart can show. My blood was missing the element of a vast ocean, sticky salt air, the smell of eucalyptus trees, the sway of a boat moving across a choppy bay, climbing the steep city streets to find treasures of old architecture and good food. And possibly the most important ingredient, the awe, and wonder of being a little girl in this beautiful world.

How fascinating time is when we remember that it isn’t simply linear. Every day I am both the little girl with wide eyes exploring and a wise woman breathing into the wholeness of my life.